Kammi, The Hot Mess.

Do you ever feel like there is just so much on your chest that you need to get off and you don't know where to start?

That's me right now.

I know I've been talking a lot lately about how we are facing another deployment and it is getting closer and closer.  I know that some of you are probably sick of hearing about it, but whatever.  This is me.  This blog is my place to be happy and to be sad when I need to be.

I've had my sad moments, like I always do, but for the most part lately, I've been ok.

Except...I'm not really ok.

My head is a jumbled mess.  I have things that I want to write about and I just can't untangle the good things from the bad things in my mind right now.

I'm strong.  For my family.  I always will be.  But there is that part of me that just wants to fall apart.

This will be our third deployment in three years.  I should be used to this by now, right?  It has always been the same thing.  I am a mess leading up to deployment and then once he has been gone for a little while, things cool down and I'm good.

This time has been different, though.  This time, I've gone back and forth between being ok and being a mess.  My emotions are like a light switch when The Sophster get ahold of it...off...on...off...on...etc.

Gah!  It makes me feel looney!

I'm struggling with how sad The Sophster will be.  I hate that so many of her loved ones are in and out of her life.  Her sister and Bryson live in Louisiana, her Daddy goes on deployment, her Aunt Janine lives in Germany.  She gets to hold onto them just long enough to be super close and then they are ripped away.  While I love how in tune she is with her emotions, it makes me really sad when she says "I really miss my Sissy {Daddy, Aunt Janine, Brysee}".  We talk about how those people don't ever leave because they want to, it's because of work, school, etc.  She seems to get it.  Except, Daddy comes home from work every day now.  And he won't soon.  Not for almost eight long months.  That's somewhere around 245 days.  That's a life time for a two year old.

I'm struggling with the fact that this will be our longest deployment yet.  I'm now struggling with the 12 hour shifts that The Mister will be working {probably} until they leave.  There isn't enough time.  There aren't enough kisses or hugs or smells or snuggles or feels.  There aren't enough date nights left...there may not be anymore date nights.

Basically, what I'm saying is, I'm trying.  I'm trying to be here and to write.  But my posts may be sloppy and jumbled and all over the place for now.  So I just want to prepare you.  But don't worry, I never stay like this for long.

Check That One Off The List! An Epic Mommy Fail.

You know that list that parents have of things that you hope never happen?  Ever had one of those things checked off?  I got to check off the first major one {seemed that way at the time, anyway} on Wednesday morning....

My mother-in-law is out of town and she left us with her car.  This had been nice because we have been a one car and one bike family since The Mister decided to sell his truck months before deployment and has been riding his bike to work every day.

The car has this little quirk where the driver's door doesn't lock/unlock with the electric locks or the key fab.  My guess is the actuator, but what do I know?  Anyway, you basically have to unlock the doors from the passenger side and climb over to the driver's side to lock the driver's door and visa versa for locking it.  Only, if you press the driver's door lock down manually, all of the other doors lock in the car.

Wednesday morning, The Mister left out of here to drive to Louisiana to pick up our oldest daughter, Sandra.  Naturally, he took our car.  It's a lot of miles from North Florida to almost New Orleans, we know that our car is dependable, and then there's the whole thing about insurance or whatever.

The Sophster and I needed to make a quick run to Target, so we got dressed and jumped in Oma's car.  When we got to Target, I went through my usual run down for what we needed to take into the store with us.  Into my purse went keys, phone, water bottle.  Then, I opened the door and thought "Hmm...I wonder if this door will lock from the door switch?"  I flipped the switch up and down a couple of times.  Nothing.  "Oh well", I thought, and shoved the lock down.  Jumped out of the car, closed the door....and immediately realized that I had locked all of the doors...with The Sophster inside the car.

So I locked my kid in the car, in a parking lot.  I mean, who cares about the parking lot, really?!  I LOCKED MY KID IN THE CAR!

I immediately started shaking like a leaf.  What was I going to do???  My purse, phone, keys, and CHILD were locked in this car!!

Thankfully, there was a nice gentleman across the parking lane from me and I very nervously asked for help.  He was very gracious and called the Sheriff's office for me and they were out within just a couple of minutes.

He asked if there was another key and I had no good answer...."No sir, there's not.  This is my mother-in-law's car, she's out of town.  My husband has our one car and is on his way to Louisiana to pick up my step daughter"

....I felt like puking.

I stood by Sophi's window making funny faces at her, praying she wouldn't start wigging out.  She did fine right until probably the last few seconds she was in there.  The officers were able to get into the car quickly and we got her out.  She was a little freaked out by all the policemen standing around and you know, from being locked in the car, so she wouldn't speak to the officers that just rescued her, but she did manage to give them each a high five and they gave her a Sheriff's Office bracelet for being so tough!

Also, that very same night, as The Mister was on his way home, our kitchen sink backed up.  The garbage disposal was clogged and I had a sink full of dishes to wash.  So, there they sat until the next morning when The Mister could fix it....and give me lessons on how to fix it, in case it happened again in the next 8 months.

These are the things that are supposed to happen during deployment!  Maybe they are just getting themselves out of the way before he leaves?  Oh that would be wonderful!  I hope it's not a sign that the worst is yet to come.

Stupid Deployment.  We really can never be friends.

Have you ever locked your kid{s} in the car?  What are some things that you have checked off of the "hope that never happens" list?  How did you handle it?  If you are a military family, what have been some of your toughest deployment/pre-deployment challenges to tackle?

Taking Advantage of the Moment: An Impromptu Photo Op

If you are a parent, then you likely know the feeling of seeing your child wake up one morning and feeling like they have gone from one lifestage to a complete other, over night.  I swear to you guys that last night, I put a chubby faced toddler to bed and what arose this morning was a beautiful little girl!  Not that she isn't alway beautiful...but...you know what I mean, right?

So, after I met her in the hallway for a good morning hug and kiss and we had our usual conversation about how she slept, if she had good dreams, what her dreams were....etc...I did what any normal mom with a blog would do....

I grabbed my camera!

No, the lighting is not perfect and the house is a bit of a mess... but this morning...that didn't matter.  My girl woke up happy and willing to let me take pictures of her {after a little bribery, of course}, so nothing {except my camera} was going to get in between us!

She has this wild, beautiful hair.  It's so perfect even when she first wakes up in the morning.  Her cheeks are always pink and warm from spending the night nestled into her pillow and blankets.  This morning, you can also see a smudge of chocolate just below her mouth.  She has gotten so great about waking up and going to the potty and we are on the m&m system here at the Casa de Sophster.

You can't tell in these pictures, but this morning I noticed she is starting to get a few very tiny freckles right across the bridge of her nose, like mommy has.  Her features seem to have become more defined over night!

So there you have it, our little beauty's impromptu photo session with mommy.   I'm so glad that I took the time to start our morning out like this, because it was a fun start to a great day!  It's so easy sometimes, as busy grown ups and parents, to let those special little moments slip by, unnoticed, but I encourage you to slow down today and soak up those moments!  You never know when you will wake up one morning and have a different kid than you did the one you kissed and tucked in the night before. 

Happy Weekend!

August Fitness Goals and July Fitness Recap with {LOTS OF} Progress Pics

You guys!  I am SO excited to be writing this month's fitness update!  Mitch and I made some major changes in July.  We changed our work out, we changed out diets, but most of all, we changed our mindsets.  I realized that, personally, I was putting too much on myself.  Maybe it was because I was just so hoping to find the "right thing" for me that I was trying it all in short bursts and giving up to quickly, or maybe it was because I was trying to find something more interesting for people to want to read here on the blog...hmmm....yeah that was not a good thing for me.

Before I start rambling about what we actually did last month, let's recap on my July goals.

• Keep up with the not drinking deal, except on weekends and only if we had put in a good workout
• Keep up with our Insanity: Asylum workout
• Run on days when Asylum isn't high intensity cardio
• Continue drinking at least one green smoothie a day
• Talk Mitch into ordering the Focus T25 workout for us 

 How did we do?  Well, looking back now, we didn't do too bad!

I started feeling overwhelmed and quit doing my Asylum workouts after probably the first week in July.  As a matter of fact, I {we} did no exercising for an entire week.  It was time to regroup.  As I mentioned above, I was overwhelming myself like crazy.  We needed a new plan.

We have kept up with the not drinking!  As a matter of fact, the only time we have had anything to drink was when we took our mini getaway to Orlando for a couple of days {we drank that Saturday}, and then last weekend we were hanging out with some friends and I had a couple of glasses of wine and Mitch had a few beers.  Not bad, huh? ;)

I still run every now and then, but we mostly just walk, if we're going out now.  We love to get a quick workout in, in the morning, and then take the whole family out for a walk.  I've actually realized that I burn close to the same amount of calories walking as I did jogging, so why kill myself??

We finished our 30 Day Green Smoothie Challenge and I'm happy to say that we are still going strong! Green smoothies have become a love affair for us, and I can't imagine not having one every morning to charge me up for my day.  I don't think this is something we will ever stop doing.

Did I talk Mitch into buying me T25??  No.  I didn't.  He's a cheapass very frugal and didn't want to spend the money on it.  He did however burn a copy of the workouts from someone who DID want to spend the money on them!  So yeah, we got them.  And.....we're completely obsessed with this workout.  Completely.  I can't even begin to tell you how awesome Focus T25 is!!  Oh, and if you haven't already heard, it's only 25 Minutes!  Seriously....25 minutes and then you're done.  That means that when the cutest munchkin on the block wakes up at 6:30 in the morning, and you are just starting your workout, you can sit her on the couch with your ipad and she doesn't have time to get bored before you finish!  YES!

Yeah, she's the cutest, right?? Ugh...she's been cutting those two year molars...those things are monsters.

We also made the decision to change our diet.  We were going nowhere fast eating the way that we were.  Sure, we had a green smoothie a day, and we thought we were eating healthy {we usually ate our veggies}, but we were still eating a lot of processed foods and refined sugars.  I mentioned here that  I had been doing some researching on the paleo diet.  I was a little skeptical at first, but the more I read, the more it actually makes sense.

You essentially eat a whole foods diet, with the exclusion of a few things.  The Paleo Diet is gluten free, grain free, dairy free.  We have been eating this way for about two weeks now and I cannot express how awesome we feel!!  We have SO much energy and never get that super heavy, overstuffed feeling after we eat meals.  We are not 100% paleo, and I honestly don't think we ever will be.  There are some things I just can't give up completely {coffee creamer, fresh parmesan cheese}, but for the most part, we get protein, fruits, and veggies in every meal.  It's amazing and I'm totally obsessed.  I even started a Paleo board on Pinterest, if you're interested in checking out the recipes!  I'll keep updating on this as the months pass, too.

Anyway, here are my stats for this month, compared to last month:

My numbers changed big time this month!  As soon as we started doing the T25 workouts, the weight and inches started melting away.  In the last 2 1/2 weeks {since we started the workout AND the new diet}, I lost 6.7 inches and 4.8 pounds in July!  Awesome!! {Yeah, I'm a little excited, it's the first time I'm seeing those numbers, too!}

On to the progress pics, because that's what you all have been waiting for, right? Right.

First I'll compare the pics I took at the beginning of July, to the pics I took yesterday morning {August 1st}:

July:

August:

Aaaaand here is a comparison to where I was the after our first T25 workout, 2 1/2 weeks ago, compared to after yesterday morning's workout:

Pretty amazing, right? See why I'm so obsessed with this workout and the paleo diet??? It's like a dynamic duo!

Mitchy is looking super hot, too! He said I'm not allowed to post his progress pics until the very end {lol}, but I'll tell you that he has lost almost TEN POUNDS in less than 3 weeks! I'm so proud of US!

So, our goals going forward for August are simply to continue what we're doing. T25 in the early mornings, maybe a family walk after breakfast, keep eating clean and paleo! Also, just relax and enjoy our success and enjoy our family and just enjoy life in general. That's what it's all about, after all, right??

Are you doing any specific challenges for the month of August? Did you reach your goals for July? I'd love to hear what you've got going on in your fitness calendar for this coming month!

Weight Rant: It's a Personal Thing

I don't usually post about fitness stuff until the first of the month, but I feel like this one can't wait.

As you know, I have been on a journey over the last few months to get my weight back in control....again. I post updates about the things I do, the things I eat, and my struggles.

When Mitch was away on deployment last year, I worked hard and lost 20 pounds. It was no small deal. I was so proud of myself. I looked and felt amazing. Shortly after he came home, I started gaining again. I chalked it up to him being home and us being happy and comfortable.

Then, we started working out again in May. I'm finally starting to see some real results. Great, right? Well....

I've been thinking lately about how it seems like every time I get down to my "happy place" in weight loss, I end up sabotaging myself and putting the weight back on. Lately, I've been trying to pinpoint why I do that.

A couple of days ago, I had a girlfriend over and I was explaining to her about how excited I am about the new workout program that we have been doing, and I mentioned that I decided to take us to 100% whole foods and that I was sticking my toes into the paleo pool. I told her that, since deciding 4 days earlier to go grain, gluten, and dairy free, I had lost 3 pounds! This is exciting for me! Her response though, instead of being happy for me, was to say "Well jeez! Don't you think you're skinny enough already?? You don't need to lose anymore weight!"

This was the moment that I realized the trigger for my self sabotage. People. I'm a people pleaser. Whenever I get to a weight where other people start to tell me that "you're too thin" or "you don't need to lose anymore weight", I start to believe them. I start to think that maybe I am starting to look unhealthy or too thin. What happens next is sad. I stop working towards my goals, I start eating more, and before I know it, the weight is back and I am depressed about life.

So, to those of you out there who feel like you need to tell me your opinion on the way my body looks, please stop and think about these things first:

• I weigh 138 pounds.  This is a perfectly healthy weight for me!  I am nowhere near too thin and I never will be.  Why?  Because I love myself and I love FOOD!
• I get up every morning between 5:00 and 5:30 and I work out.  I don't just work out.  I work my ass off.  I put drive and effort into every drop of sweat, every calorie, and every ounce of fat that I shred off of these hips.  I'm not trying to be a skinny girl.  I'm trying to be a strong girl.  Weight loss is just a bonus.
• I eat.  I mean, I really love food.  I eat at least 1,400 calories a day.  When I work out, it's closer to 1,800 a day.  I track my calories.  I know what goes in my body and it's not garbage.  That's why I can eat so much and still manage to lose weight.
• It's not about losing weight.  It's about being a better version of me.

So please, I know that most of you say it either out of concern or it's some backwards way of complimenting my success, but it hurts me.  If you feel the need to say anything, just tell me that I'm looking great and that you're proud of my success.  Let me be the one who decides when I reach my goals.  This goes for anyone else in your life who might be going through the same battles as I am.  

This is as simple as the good ol' Golden Rule.  If you can't say anything nice,  please don't say anything at all!

Green Smoothies: A love affair

Mitch and I have known about green smoothies for a long time. Only, we had it all wrong. We would make one every once in a while, to feel like we were doing something good for ourselves, but we would dump a couple cups of milk, tons of berries and bananas, a handful of spinach, and usually a couple heavy swirls of honey, into the blender. Not that all of that stuff isn't good for you in one way or another, it's just that we were doing it all wrong.

For our 4 year wedding anniversary, on June 29th, my AWESOME husband surprised me with something I've been asking for for a looooooong time. A Blendtec super blender! To say that I was thrilled with this gift would be a total understatement. It's basically the only kitchen appliance I use now {other than the stove, oven, and coffee pot, of course}.  These guys are pricey....but seriously...SO WORTH IT!

Anyhoot, the blender could not have come at a better time, because I had signed us up for a green smoothie challenge that would start on July 1st!  I was just going to attempt making smoothies with our older blender and just tough my way through all of the kale bits that would get stuck in my teeth. Yuck.  I don't have to worry about that now!!

The new challenge from the girls over at Simple Green Smoothies started on the 1st, but I couldn't wait to use my new toy, so we started smoothie-ing it up a couple of days early with our own creations.  Once the challenge started, I began receiving a weekly email with a shopping list for ingredients and 5 new smoothie recipes to try out.

I got the first email....WOW!  Were we doing it all wrong!  The gals have kick started something amazing for us.  I now use NO peanut butter in our smoothies, I PACK 2-3 cups of spinach or kale into the blender, and use either water, coconut water, unsweetened almond milk, or coconut milk as my liquid base.  I also usually throw in a tablespoon of chia seeds and a tablespoon of bee pollen, instead of honey.

I love how each week, the smoothie girls challenge us to use a variety of fruits {week 1:tropical fruits, week 2:stone fruits, week 3:melons, week 4:berries}.  I have always typically been a strawberry, blueberry, banana, kind of girl.  I have discovered so many new things that I LOVE and even made a few that we didn't love so much, but that's ok.

Let me tell you about some things that have happened since we've been doing at least one smoothie a day for the last 25 days...

• We don't drink coffee in the mornings.  More importantly, we don't feel like we need coffee in the morning, anymore.  We wake up feeling as energized as a thirty something year old couple with a toddler could possibly feel, and we get a good workout in, then it's smoothie time!  Usually, I'll have a cup of coffee in the afternoon or when I'm sitting here writing.  Not because I need it, but because I want it.  
• My hair is growing like the Zed's in Dr. Suess' Red Fish Blue Fish {the ones who need a haircut every day because their one hair grows so fast}.  
  
  Okay, that was a total parent  reference, but basically, my hair has probably grown an inch {at least} in the last few weeks.  Downside to this is, the hair on my head isn't the only hair growing faster.  I'm having to shave every day now!  {Side note: when I met Mitch, I did actually shave every day....then I became a mother and that all went out the window!  lolz}
• My nails are growing super fast and they are strong!
• My skin has started to clear up.  I have never had a problem with bad skin.  Then, I turned 30 in May and it's like my body decided to hate me.  I started breaking out like crazy!  Adult acne?? Maybe.  I'm in full denial.  BUT! These smoothies have really helped to curb the teenage pizza face. Thank Goodness!
• I'm losing weight {and inches} and feeling great!  I mean, aside from the health perks, is there any better reason to LOVE green smoothies!  I have not only broken my plateau for weight loss, I have blasted that sucker!  It feels awesome.  And it's only been about three and a half weeks.
• The Sophster wakes up every morning and runs into the kitchen to tell me that she is hungry.  When I ask her if she'd like for me to make her breakfast, she always says "No, Mommy!  I want a SMOOVIE!"  The kid LOVES her green smoothies!  She is relentless in the mornings until she has one to slurp on.  I love that even if she refuses to eat anything other than pb&j for the rest of the day, I know that she has had her some green goodness for the day.  Mommy win!

So why not commit to drinking one green smoothie a day?  They are easy, delicious, fun, and all of that stuff I just wrote up there!  Plus, you can get fun accessories for them!  Like these Heritage mason jars from Ball:

Ball Jar Heritage Collection Pint Jars with Lids and Bands, Set of 6
Or these funky little stainless steel straws to drink from:

Epica Stainless Steel Drinking Straws, Set of 4

We're also shopping around for some "to go" lids for our green goodness. Something we can stick a straw in and slurp on when we are on the road. I really like these, from EcoJarz, but they are out of our price range.  I may end up just talking Mitchy into drilling some holes into some lids, popping some rubber grommets {grommets? gaskets? I'm so hardware savvy...}, in the holes and sticking straws in them.  Whatevs.  No need to be all fancy if it's going to cost us so much!

Anyway, what are you waiting for?!?  Grab yourself a smoothie slurping buddy and start your love affair with these awesome awesome things!!

Do you Green Smoothie?? I'd love to hear what the amazing green goodness has done in your life! Also, what are some of your favorite smoothie recipes? We're always down to try something new around here!

Derailed

Ugh...I have been on a serious hiatus the last couple of weeks. I mean, aside from all of the super busy/fun stuff we've had going on, here is how my train of thought has been when it comes to sitting at the computer and writing in my spare time: "Hey, I think I'll blog a little....or...maybe I'll just paint my nails...or maybe I'll catch up on the dvr...or maybe I'll just goof off and stare all glazed eyed at Facebook/Pinterest/Instagram". Seriously. I am having a major derail moment and I'm trying to get myself back on track here, people!! ;)

Here are some things that have been going on, that you will be hearing about soon.

• Independence Day family fun
• Green Smoothies and how they are changing our lives
• Our older kiddos came to visit us for a few days 
• A really neat craft that we did with the kids
• Mitch and I finally had our anniversary getaway to Orlando
• Our living room reveal and couch pic {if you follow us on Facebook, you might have helped us pick a couch a while back!}
• Our dining room, turned play room makeover
• Another workout update {for August}.  Big things are happening here, folks!

 And of course....

• Just some fun stuff that The Sophster has been up to lately! :)

Thanks for sticking with us!  Looking forward to getting back to the grind again real soon!

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My iPhone is Fancy, Y'all!

This post will be short and sweet but I'm just too excited about this to not share {yes, I am very easily amused}! I found a tutorial to pretty up the icons on my iPhone a long time ago but that junk was just way too complicated to wrap my mind around, and I forgot about doing it. UNTIL I found a NEW tutorial on Pinterest a couple of days ago. This one is super easy to follow {lots of preeeeeetty pictures!} and the blog writer even makes it a fun read. Anyway, it takes some time because you have to download one at a time, but it's sooooo worth it. Check it out!


Pretty, right??

The tutorials can be found here for the downloadable app icons, and here for the icons that originally come with your iPhone. Not to mention, the name of the blog is The Super Messy Supermommy! A woman after my own little messy heart. Go check her out and have some fun customizing your iPhone!

Just who are we weaning here??

I decided shortly after Sophi was born that I couldn't be the parent who let her child cry herself to sleep. I just didn't have it in me. So I nursed her to sleep until she was almost 18 months old, when she weaned, and then for a couple of months after that, I rocked her to sleep. This probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but hey, I stay at home with her and I have that time so why make her suffer and scream herself to sleep. We did try the CIO {Cry It Out} method for about 4 days{?} Know what happened? She screamed at the top of her lungs for over an hour each night. It never got better...and it never got easier for us. We have a seriously stubborn child. Don't know who she gets that from! Couldn't be either on of us....right. Anyway, after I stopped rocking her to sleep, I would put her in the crib and lay just outside of the crib, on her floor. This lasted for several months. Then, I decided to move outside of her door, thinking that if she didn't see me, she would realize that she doesn't need me right there for her to fall asleep. She's 26 months old now. We still lay outside her door every night for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour waiting for her to fall asleep so we can slip away and have some Mitch and Kammi time.

Last night, Mitch suggested that maybe we should try leaving her door open and walking away but staying close enough that if she calls, we could say "we're right here, honey!" and keep her from wigging out and scaling the crib. I agreed. So we put her to bed about 30 minutes ago and guess where I am? About 4 feet away from where I usually am. Waiting for her to fall asleep. And guess how many times she has called for me in the last 30 minutes? Twice. TWICE. In THIRTY minutes. Maybe she isn't the only one who needs weaning. It takes away a part of the "my baby needs me" fantasy and it freaks me out. I didn't realize this until about 8:00 tonight. This is something that I am going to have to work on, as much as she will. Goodnight, my sweet girl. Tomorrow you will be my baby again. Mommy and Daddy love you.

Am I the only one who has this issue? I'd love to hear stories of how you got your little ones {and yourself} adjusted to a healthy sleep pattern. Good night!

On My Mind....

I have been thinking about something for days now and trying to brush it off, but, I woke up at 3:17 this morning and just can't shake it so I'm going to put it out here and I hope that it comes across more clear than the jumbled up mess in my head and on my heart.

Let me just make a couple of things clear here. 1. I love my daughter more than anything on this Earth. I love her more than myself and nothing she could do will ever change that. 2. I am a Christian who does not 100% follow or believe in the laws of religion. I believe in love and relationships. I believe that Christ submitted himself to a horrific death because He loved me more than anything on this Earth, more than himself, and nothing I could ever do will change that.

Ok, if that doesn't make sense right now, hold tight, hopefully it will by the end of this.

I have been hearing a lot lately about how people are so pro-spanking. I am not. I think that spanking is a disgusting way of acting as a dictator, a controller, over a child. I don't spank my daughter and I do my best to not lose control over myself and yell at my daughter. She is a two year old who is having to learn how to control her own emotions and I will be damned if I teach her that yelling and hitting are ways to treat herself or anyone else around her. I know that I am not the perfect mother but I think I do a pretty good job. My child is happy. She is kind, respectful, polite, and she is all of these things just from learning by example. When I talk to her, I talk to her like a human being and not like an animal. I do not reprimand her when she is wrong, I take the time to explain and to teach because that is what works for us.

When we go out in a public place and she has a meltdown, it's usually for one of three reasons. She's hungry or tired {in which case I shouldn't have her out so close to lunch/nap time anyway} or she wants to get down and explore, instead of being confined to a shopping cart. Some moms would see this as their child "being a brat" or an inconvenience. But I say, she's TWO! Of course she doesn't want to be confined. In her mind, the store is a giant play place and she wants to get down and play and learn and touch and feel. So most of the time, I let her. It takes longer to get through places, but that's ok. She is learning and growing and she will only be this small for a very short time.

My mom raised my brother and myself as a single parent. My dad was a piece of crap drug addict who abandoned his family when his daughter {that's me} was only eight years old. My mom had a tough time. She did a good job. But, if you ask me to recall some of my most vivid memories of growing up, I will mostly remember the bad times. The day my dad left, the spankings done with a paddle, the slaps across my smartass teenage mouth, the knock down drag out fight between mom and I that ended in my little brother having to break it up. Even though my mom and I went on to have a good relationship, I don't want these memories for Sophi. Ever.

Last weekend, I made a remark about how Sophi has been having a difficult time controlling her emotions lately and has been acting out quite a bit more and about how I refuse to spank. Mom reminded me about Proverbs 13:24. You know, the spare the rod, spoil the child verse? I can't even begin to tell you how quickly the bad memories came flooding back in. I tried to forget about it but then I saw something on Facebook yesterday that upset me to the same degree. So, here I am today, waking up at 3:17am, thinking {and writing} about all of this.

I did a little looking into Proverbs 13:24 because I was struggling with how I've been taught {God is Love} and this verse {beat your children into submission}. I actually found several verses {from the KJV} where King Solomon writes about heavily disciplining children:

Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

It is believed that, King Solomon wrote these things about his son, Rehoboam. Funny thing {not really}, as an adult, Rehoboam was a viscous leader, unfeeling, inconsiderate to his subjects, had no regard for human rights, and was widely hated {narrowly escaping death at the hand of his own people in 1 Kings}. What does that tell you about the parenting methods used by King Solomon? Can we not agree that as parents, the way that we raise our children will reflect heavily on who they become as adults?

Like I said, I am a Christian, I believe in the Word, but I also believe that some bible verses {like Proverbs 13:24} should be reevaluated to some degree. Of course, I discipline Sophi, to a degree. I am not here to be her buddy. But, I am also not here to be a ruler over her. I am here to be her MOTHER. I am firm when I need to be, but above all, I am her teacher and I am the one who will always love her more than anyone. Ever. It is my job to make her feel loved, deserved, important. And I don't ever want her to think otherwise.

I don't think that my God wants me to beat my child. I think that the second part of that verse, "but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them" {NIV}, is often left out. Careful to discipline. Love. These are the words that hold true to me. I will love and I will be careful to discipline and correct. I WILL SPARE THE ROD. My child may be spoiled, but she is spoiled with LOVE. And I'm ok with that.

I'm sure that I will have some readers that will disagree with things that I have said here, and that's ok. This blog is not written to please everyone. It is an outlet for me. I needed to get this out there and now I have, so thank you for sticking with me.

On a brighter note, here is The Sophster enjoying our first spring strawberry from our local farm delivery. :)

Dear Uterus, The Answer is NO.

Well, that time has come again. If you're a mom, then you probably know what time I'm talking about. That time when my body starts SCREAMING for another baby. When any time I see a beautiful, squishy newborn or see a pregnant woman, my uterus starts aching for another baby. It's even so bad that when I see my pregnant mom friends pin something on Pinterest that has to do with baby stuff, I get a little sad. It's crazy. It's like I'm in heat. Mitch and I decided when I was pregnant with Sophi that we were not going to have anymore children. Mentally, I know this and I'm good with it. But my body is fighting me big time right now. I have even been torturing myself by looking back at all of the pictures and videos I took of Sophi when she was a newborn. I mean seriously, who wouldn't want another one of these?



It's tough for me, looking back at those videos and pictures. Thanks to my battle with PPD, I feel like I was robbed of the sweet times with my newborn. As a matter of fact, I hardly remember the good times. I remember the bad ones. A lot. So is it selfish that I want a second chance to be a mom to a newborn? To have a chance at the experience that I wanted my entire life? I don't think it is. I talked to Mitch about it and we decided that, certainly not right now, but if we still want to go down this road, we will start trying again after this next deployment cycle is over. {Eeep!} That's not until late next Summer though, so we will see how we're feeling then.

Never in a million years would I have thought that I would want to have another baby. But here I am, uterus aching like mad for another pregnancy and another chance at having a sweet little squishums in my arms again.

I can't believe I'm about to hit the Publish button on this...

A Few of my Favorite Things

I've been thinking lately about the things that I've been loving. From home stuff to Soph stuff to mommy stuff to...well, you get the point, right? Ok here we go.

Lipstick. RED lipstick. THE RED lipstick. Ok, it's more like a lip stain but you get it, right? It's (IMHO) perfection. It's perfection and it's AFFORDABLE! I can put it on in the morning, eat, drink and kiss all over baby and husband all day long and STILL need to use makeup remover to take it off before bed. True story. I fell asleep in it one night (oops!) and woke up the next morning with perfect red lips. Also the truth. You're dying to know what this amazingly fantasticly perfect RED lipstick is, right? I know you are. Drumroll, please....



Yep! Revlon! It's by Revlon and I bought it at Target for $8.99! It's not some crazy expensive lip color. Matter of fact, I was hesitant to spend the $8.99 on it, but boy am I glad that I did! This stuff is solid gold. Don't believe me? Look how gorgeous it is on!



Up next on my list of loves has to be my running shoes. I have tried several different types of running shoes and they all have given me the same results: knee pain, foot pain, or shin splints. That is, until I found these. Late last summer I purchased my Under Armour "Spine" running shoes. Seriously, these things are solid gold. I have had no sort of pain except "the good kind" in these shoes. I have run hundreds of miles in them and they are still going strong. And when they run out, you bet your ass I'll be buying another pair. I just may go with the water resistant ones that are out now, since rain puddles gather BAD on the sidewalks around here during the summer.



This next one goes hand in hand paw with my running shoes. You see, I love my Liesel Bear. She's my biggest baby (our oldest fur baby) but she is TERRIBLE on a lead. She LOVES to run with us, and I love to take her but usually, I end up with a seriously sore arm/shoulder from constantly having to pull on her because she pulls and lunges so bad. We usually have to run around 2 miles before she lets up even a little. We have tried a regular collar, we have tried a choke chain, we have tried a harness. We hated them all for their own reasons. Then, I was talking to a girlfriend one day and she recommended the Gentle Leader to us. We bought one and our walking pains have been cured! She has become SO amazing to run with now. She no longer pulls or lunges and she is fully aware of every move that I make. Some people have looked at it and said that it looks "cruel" or "like a muzzle" but let me be clear; she can breathe fine, she can drink and eat fine, and if she were vicious at all, she could still eat your face off with this thing on. All it does is give me control of her nose. If her nose is redirected, her body will redirect. It's that simple. The collar was like there was nothing there at all, the choker...well, it choked, and did nothing. The first harness rubbed her raw under her arms (sad face) and the second harness was completely ineffective. This thing is AWESOME. She sports the hot pink one.



This may gross some of you out but I have a confession. About 4ish months ago, I stopped washing my hair. Ok well, I still wash it, just only every 4 days or so. I can hear you! Shhh! Let me explain. I've always had this conviction that my hair is a greasy mess if I don't wash it every.single.day. Well, it was true. But only because I made it true! See, what happens when you strip your hair of its oils every day is the natural oils in your head freak out and gang up on your roots. It's true. Just imagine their little oil army coming to attack. It's a little scary. So anyway, now that you have that image, these little oil monkeys rush in big time if you're washing every day BUT...if you STOP washing every day, these dudes get to relax a little bit and miraculously, your hair will stop getting so oily, so fast. Also, another break through I've had is that my hair is SO much more manageable now! Really. If you saw me on day 1 after washing you'd be like "Dude, Kammi, what the heck is going on with your hair?!" because it's so clean and slick and unmanageable, but if you saw me on day 3 or 4, you'd be like "Daaaaaang girl! Your hair looks GREAT!". I'm not lying. Anyway, I'm on a tangent just to tell you that my secret weapon for getting through these 4ish days of not washing is simple...and cheap. It's dry shampoo. The one I use is TreSemme Volumizing dry shampoo. It's like $3 at the grocery store. Sure, there are fancy ones out there and sure, they're probably better than this one but hey, I don't care. This one works for this girl!



Ok, I have more but we'll save them for another post. I'll leave you with one more. Sophi's current thing (besides the iPad that she begs for daily). LEGO Duplos. The kid is obsessed. I hear "leegoos leegoos" all.the.time. It's cool though, because mommy and daddy love to play with them, too. We find so many ways. It's amazing, before becoming a mother, I would have told you that legos are simply building block. Hmm, I guess that's true. But on SO many more levels! Building blocks physically, sure, but building blocks for learning and developing? It's true. I won't get all deep on you here but I'll say that we work on her fine motor skills with actual building, we do color sorting, imagination building, counting, and whatever else her little self can come up with. We love LEGOs! Aaaaand now I just made the mistake of looking at amazon.com for a link to post here and I've discovered new sets. Well babe, your wallet is doomed. ;) Loooooook!!!



Babe...if you're reading this, we NEED this! ;)



So that's it for now. I mean, there's more but I have to save some for next time. Thanks for stopping by!

I'd love to hear what some of your favorite things are right now. Care to share?

What we've been up to

The last time I wrote an update was about 10 months ago. That's just too long, so it's time that I give you an update.

Shortly after my last post, Mitch left for Japan for what would turn out to be a nearly 7 month deployment. Deployments are never easy, but this one was definitely easier on us than the last. We were able to FaceTime or Skype at least once a day and Sophi got to talk to and see daddy a lot, which was HUGE for all of us. She would "love daddy" (press her face against his and make a loving sound) and give him kisses. They would have tea parties and dance parties. It was cool.

We had a pretty fun summer, despite daddy being away. We stayed outdoors most days. I can't keep that kid inside! She is an outside girl just like her mommy. She loved going over to Granny's and getting into the pool or going to the base and playing at the splash park. She wanted to learn to swim so bad and would dunk her head under water or just dip her ears in or her face to blow bubbles. We played in the dirt a lot. She helped me in my garden, watering plants and pulling weeds and plucking flowers for our hair.

We started going for runs in late summer. We would grab the jogging stroller and a dog and head out early before it got too hot and run 3 miles or so. She loved to stop and feed the ducks. I loved getting what I fondly call my runner's tan and sweating my face off. I was able to lose 20 pounds from running. That's the rest of my baby weight plus a few pounds for good measure. ;)

In October, Sophi finally said something other than "mama" and "dada" which got the ball rolling on her really talking. I remember being concerned about her because she wasn't talking like most babies at her age. I knew she could hear me because she would respond in her own way, but she just refused to talk. We talked to her pediatrician about it and she sent us to have her hearing tested. After a couple of tests, it was determined that her hearing was fine. She was just stubborn...or maybe it was something else.

Mitch came home in December(Yay!). His flight arrived real late on the night they came in. Sophi had used up all of her energy by the time he came off the plane. She had just enough to give daddy a little hug and kiss and then back to mommy to fall asleep while we waited for Mitch's bags to unload. Naturally, I was nervous about how she would be the next morning since she kind of shied away from him that night. That baby put my worries to rest, though. When she woke that Saturday morning (the next day), She woke up saying "mommy mommy" as usual, but Mitch went to go get her while I watched on the monitor. Here's how it went: he walks into the room, she sees him, jumps up in her crib, throws her arms out and let's out this huge, happy scream: "DADDY! DADDY!!!". She leapt into his arms and pretty much didn't leave his side for the next few days. She would snuggle in his lap or tackle him on the floor. She would say his name and touch his face as if to say, "daddy, it's really you!" All of my fears were cast away.

Oh, about the talking thing? She was obviously saving that for her daddy because as soon as he came home, that baby started saying a handful of new words a day and was talking sentences within weeks! Amazing. She can now hold a conversation with us, along with reading her favorite books and singing a couple of songs. She blows our minds daily.

Sophi turned two earlier this month. TWO. My, how time does fly. We had a couple of celebrations for her. Mitch was working some crazy long hours so, the day before her birthday (Sunday), we let her pick out a cupcake at Target and smash it up. This was followed by a crazy dance party. The kid loves to dance on the coffee table! The following weekend, we had our family and closest friends come over for a little party. It was a lot of fun! Sophi's cousin, Jaiden, came to play and she also got to play with another new friend, Kiani. She played until the sun went down and then still partied for a few more hours until daddy finally came home from work and was able to read her a bed time story and it was off to bed she went.

I can't believe how much our family has grown over the last 10 months. We are happier and stronger than ever! 2013 has been and I know that it will continue to be an awesome year for us! Thanks for hanging with us!